The Unhappy Christian

You may know me. You certainly know where to find me. I am in my allotted space on the pew every time the church doors are open. I can spout an AMEN! with the best of em’ during any sermon and will construct a powerful eloquent prayer when called upon to do so. There is no one that can out quote me on scripture, or best my knowledge of the Bible, nor dare to debate me. I tithe religiously, dress to perfection, and always commend the preacher. To the world I would appear to be the perfect Christian, but in reality I am the unhappy Christian.

Look Closer

I know where all my favorites can be found in the hymnal and if you watch my face you will see my lips moving like everyone else, but if you were close enough you would hear little sound. Additionally, you may notice that no one sits very close to me. Sometimes, on slow days I even have the entire pew to myself; Oh, there might be a couple on the other end of the pew, but they keep their distance. That’s fine with me; they are usually just visitors anyway, while I have attended this Church for 6 years. When I arrive, I take my seat, and mind my own business for the most part. If someone speaks to me, I speak back. I’m not a rude person; in fact I always let people in front of me during the scramble to get out the Church doors. They have things to do so most of them don’t come back to the evening service which is also fine with me; the evening service is really for well-versed Christians anyway.

Obligations

Sometimes our Church has pot luck dinners, cook outs, field trips, or such things which they call fellowship gatherings. Beyond Communion, this is a waste of everyone’s time and serves not the Lord but members own desires. I barely know these people anyway. Attending services on Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday evening covers my obligations and I have no time for other such nonsense.

Be Like Me

Still, Church members are somewhat in awe when they encounter me, always respectful of my knowledge and status in the Church. Some even aspire to become like me, but knowing they never will. When looking at my face they see righteousness, strength, and sensibility. They may even be intimidated by seeing sternness and resolve on my face, but there is one thing they will never see on my face and that’s a smile because I am The Unhappy Christian.

Epilogue

I have known a person or two in the past who possessed some of the attributes of the protagonist in this satire which was inspired by our Sunday message delivered by my Pastor and Brother in Christ, Bobby Brown. I have written about happiness, being happy, and so forth before but nobody can can deliver a message and have it sink into your soul like him. The message was “I Sing Because I’m Happy, I Sing Because I’m Free” and began in Psalms 138:1 One of my all time favorite Brother Bobby quotes came this Sunday when he asked us: “Are you happy to be in the House of the Lord?” There was a very weak “yes” response from the congregation (including me) to which he followed with: “well some of you need to tell your faces that!!!” I love him so much.

If you want to hear that amazing sermon here it is: