Peeing On Daddy

This is a true story.

Growing up I drank a lot of sweet iced tea. My mom was kinda famous for this iced tea and my friends would come over just to have a glass to cool off during the hot summer because we were always outside, hot, dirty, and sweaty.

This tea recipe was handed down to my wife Liz and the recipe lived-on. So my kids grew up loving this same iced tea. In fact, our family even made a full-length home movie concerning a group of “bad guys” trying to steal the recipe. The movie was legendary, but I digress. Drinking as much of this tea as my mom would allow and even some she did not allow created a bit of a pee problem for me, as you can imagine. I made pee trips all hours of the night and usually made it to the bathroom “about to bust”.  

 I was in the second grade when the incident happened. One night I jumped up from the bed and ran to the bathroom (barely in time) to “let er rip”. As I let out a sigh of relief I heard cussing and saw my dad’s face before me as he laid on the couch being sprayed with pee. I was still peeing while sailing across the room in mid-air after being flung by my soggy victim. My dad and I never had the best of relationships and I figured this probably wouldn’t help. I guess he didn’t understand me but I was always trying and never succeding to please him.

But that particular night for some reason, after he cussed and whipped me and cussed some more he began to laugh. I could still hear him laughing as I went back to bed and thought “maybe I had finally found a way to please him?”