Advice For Judgmental Church People

I’ll admit it; to some extent, this title: Advice For Judgmental Church People is an attention grabber. It scores higher on the headline rating than my first eight choices, but the word judge or judgment appears in most of the paragraphs. Judge me if you will.

When I became a born-again, active Christian, I honestly did not know how much my life would change. I thought it was more a “ceremonial thing”. The first testimony penned by me contained the phrase: “When I became a Christian, I thought I didn’t have to do anything else.” I was thinking, “wait a minute, what have I gotten myself into?” “Nobody told me there would be work involved!” I love old sayings and there’s one that states: “If you work doing what you love, you never work a day in your life.”

All The Lovely People

Of course, my new church family was wonderful and very supportive. I felt loved and right at home. A few of them even came by to see me and rejoice seeing how excited, happy, and full of Spirit I was. And, then there were the others; friends, relatives, and co-workers. I love them all. There’s hardly an abnormal one in the entire bunch.

And, these friends, relatives, and co-workers know me, they especially know the old me. They knew how I spoke and acted. These folks knew my politics, what I liked, loved, or hated. They knew what made me happy and what made me mad. They have heard me tell inappropriate jokes, cuss, gossip, and maybe even know some dishonest or embarrassing things I have done.

Metamorphosis

When a sinful person, such as myself suddenly, almost magically changes overnight, there is naturally going to be some skepticism. And, from the moment someone accepts Jesus, they will be tested and judged. Being a Christian is not easy. As Christians, we are always on stage holding a microphone with a spotlight shining on us. In this way, we will be seen and heard more closely by everyone. This is not an accident, I believe it’s part of God’s plan for us. Wouldn’t it be great if at the moment we were saved, we never sinned again? Instead, our every mistake is magnified.

There is a phenomenon called The Crab Theory or Crab Mentality and it works like this: When a group of crabs are held in a bucket and one is about to escape, the other crabs pull him back down, ensuring that the group stays together and dies together. Now crabs are not people but I would describe this type of behavior in people as: “if I can’t have it, neither can you”. Crab mentality – Wikipedia

“Judgemental-Church-People” is a label that Satan and I created to disparage everyone who attended church. I can personally testify that the old me found great satisfaction when one of my judgmental church friends screwed up in some way. I couldn’t wait to gather my friends and share the satisfaction. And, my friends always returned the favor. When one of their judgmental church friends messed up, they were quick to share that information with me. This suggests to me that the “crab mentality” is innate in humans. So, it was human nature that my friends and I wanted the church people down in the same bucket with us.

Passing Or Failing

I was tested (or rather ambushed) the very next morning at work after becoming a Christian. It went like this: Hey, I saw on FB that you became a Christian and I have a question for “you people” Why was it ok for Adam and Eve’s kids to marry each other but we can’t do it anymore? (I had to clean that question up) That night, after some research I found the answers for him (and myself) We went over my findings the next day and it seemed pretty obvious that me and my answers were being judged. Honestly, I believe he already knew the answers. I later wrote a blog post about the encounter but thought it too graphic to publish.

Us People

After passing the Adam and Eve test, the term “us people” meant something to me. It was probably intended as a demeaning remark, but I turned it around. Who wouldn’t be happy to have their name listed in “The Lambs Book of Life! If you are a member of the “us people” you may have had this experience: Co-workers are talking and laughing but quickly go silent as you walk into the room. What is your reaction and how does it make you feel? If you say you feel nothing, I would find that hard to believe, but I guess feelings could vary from nothing to anger. In addition, you would have a choice of reactions to this scenario.

When it happened to me I thought it best to start with no reaction. Honestly, at the time I didn’t know how to react. But standing there in a room full of very familiar people I did feel alone. It was because I had not yet learned to immediately lean on God, not yet acclimated to the fact that “He is with me always.” Sure I would think about it later, pray, and realize that the Holy Spirit led me to remain silent. I would realize it because remaining silent would not have been a normal reaction for me. This is one of those times when it would be easy to judge; not only them judging me but me judging them. However, in different ways, we were all expressing reverence for the Lord.

Verses To Live By

James 1:19 says: “Know this my beloved brothers and sisters: Let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger..” (Not only do I love this verse, but I also need this verse)

1 Peter 3:15 says: But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect. (Another must-have verse for me)

There is some timeless and priceless wisdom in just those two verses. The Bible can always point us in the right direction in any situation.

In Closing:

First, We are all sinners. Christians are not perfect, just forgiven. Therefore, when you are looking for a perfect person, look no further than Jesus. Second, Christians should respond to any situation, honestly, with their knowledge, and it should always be delivered with gentleness and respect. Third, Christians or anyone else should never judge others or be judgmental in any conversation. The moment you do, all credibility and respect will be erased.