Struggling With Sin Again

I have not written much during this corona virus shutdown. I have not felt motivated to write anything and there’s is nothing worse than a writer trying to fake it. Instead I have shut myself in and done the best I could to follow all the recommendations in order to keep myself and others safe. During this time, I never thought I would be struggling with sin again.

Times Are Tough

I work at a hospital, not a care giver but in a support position. They call it an ancillary role in healthcare. I love my job and have always felt that I contributed to the care of patients and our community in my own small way. I am very blessed and thankful to be employed during this uncertain time, but I know employers everywhere are being forced to make tough decisions in order to survive.

Like many people, I feel the hardest part is not being able to be with friends and family. We can’t meet up for dinner, movie night, or go anywhere together. Postponing and later cancelling the annual trip to see my sisters was tough. I know donning a mask and standing in line to go into a store is necessary, but I miss not seeing peoples faces or a friends smile.

I miss my church family. We have transitioned to an on-line church service and for that I am very grateful. The act of going to church was part of my comfort zone. When this crisis snatched away that comfort zone I quickly began building another. God was correct to call us sheep. Much as we might try to deny it, we are creatures of habit, weak, and easily led. Powerful leaders, scholars, and the prideful may scoff, but everyone is led by something or someone.

Don’t Pity The Sheep

I am no different. Most see me as a strong, motivated, and maybe even a disciplined man, but I am a sheep just like everyone else. In order to survive a sheep must have a shepherd, and sheep just like people can only have one. Sheep only follow one and humans only follow one. There is an incredible book relating sheep behavior to us humans written by someone who knows, a shepherd.

https://www.amazon.com/Shepherd-Trilogy-Looks-23rd-Psalm/dp/0551030704

Behaving as sheep, I allowed current events, isolation, stress at work, and my unknown future to get the better of me. Maybe because my comfort zone changed or because I felt even more alone than just being alone, I began to lose control of my thoughts and allowed my anger and pride to resurface. I found myself committing sins I thought were no longer part of my life. Was I feeling sorry for myself? Of course! This is one of those questions that should be answered “of course!” I came up with plenty of reasons to feel sorry for myself. Many of us have a pity list.

It’s Not My Fault

And who did I blame? If you are a Christian, you probably guessed it. I blamed God and I’d been blaming him for weeks until this morning. Why did I blame God? Well, he wasn’t listening to me after all, I did have that pity list.

This morning a Bible verse came to me, just one. I did not know where it was in the Bible or the exact wording, but I did know who wrote the verse and what it meant. It was written by the Apostle Paul and I found it in Romans 7:15. You can click on the link and read it, but this is how the verse came to me: “The things I should do, I do not, but the the things I shouldn’t do, I do“

Something like this has happened to me three times since becoming saved 18 months ago and I recognize it as the Holy Spirit slapping me upside my head, this time reminding me that I will always be a sinner. Romans 7:15 reminds me that no matter how good my intentions, I still end up in sin and in need of the deliverance available only through faith in Jesus.

Not Perfect, Forgiven

Being saved and having faith in Jesus does not mean I have a “ticket to sin.” What this means is: After becoming saved The Holy Spirit lives within me. The Holy Spirit helps me understand, guides, and supports me. Every time I mess up The Holy Spirit is there to bring me back to my senses. I have a license plate on my car that says: “Christians are not perfect, just forgiven”.

Conclusion

It would be easy for me to use Satan as an excuse for my actions. Just because I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior does not make Satan disappear. He has been around much longer than me and he knows when to make his move. It has been said that Satan does his best work in Church. I am a part of that church. There is a wonderful book, “The Screwtape Letters” https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8130077-the-screwtape-letters that demonstrates just how adept he is, but the fault lies with me. I neglected my relationship with God. For an instant I followed the wrong shepherd.

Who do you follow? Man or God? If you are not saved and feel your life has no distinct direction or meaning, you can fix it. You can set your direction toward a wonderful eternal life full of love. Life does not have to be empty or complicated. Its pretty simple….

Romans 10:9-10 Is the Way

John 3:16 Is how