It’s Funny, Now That I’m Old

I’ll be 70 years old in May. I have pushed the “middle-aged” period as long as I could. It occurs to me that I am writing in a larger font than when I started this blog three years ago. Who woulda thought I’d be writing a “blog” anyway? I don’t even like saying “blog”. Maybe I won’t say it anymore? It does seem like a funny word though, now that I’m old.

Many things seem funny to me that were not funny at all when I was young and stupid. Take for instance my recent visit to the cardiologist’s office (I am fine) this is just something doctors make all old people do.

Old People Have To Wait

I have never liked waiting anywhere or at any time. I have a lot to do now, it takes me longer to do it, and I don’t have as much time as I did when I was middle-aged. However, doctors have waiting rooms and are intent on using them. I get anxious waiting but if I sit within ten feet of the reception desk, I get to hear what’s wrong with some of the people checking in. I think this is against the law but it helps me to feel good about myself because as I said above (I am fine) These other folks, bless their hearts, have a lot of problems.

A word of advice here, don’t let the “other folk” catch you listening. If they see that you are interested, they will sit right down next to you and give you a detailed rendition of all their surgeries, sicknesses, and personal problems. You will be more than grateful when the nurse calls your name and takes you back to yet another smaller waiting room. Sometimes you get lucky, skip the second waiting room, and get put directly into the exam room. It’s still another waiting room but at least you didn’t suffer three waiting rooms.

Exam Room Entertainment

Once you make it to the exam/waiting room there are ways to entertain yourself.

First, you can hear what’s wrong with even more people in the adjoining rooms, what drugs they are taking, and sometimes some really creepy stuff. This can’t be against the law. I can’t help it if doctors talk so loud.

Second, there are lots of drawers and cabinets to open and explore. And don’t forget the drawers in the exam table. That’s where all the really weird gadgets are. (you’re welcome) I don’t think this is against the law, but I’m no attorney.

Third, this is where I get my latex gloves if they have my size. It would be against the law except for the fact that I put them on. I figure if they put gloves on to protect them from me, then I should put on gloves to protect me from them. I usually put on two or three pairs to be safe.

There are some other things to do depending on how much time they allow to you spend alone in there. A couple of my favorites are: pretending to be asleep, sometimes actually going to sleep, or telling them to wait just a minute when they knock on the door. These things are funny to me, now that I’m old.

Applying Pressure

Doctors do the best they can, bless their hearts but trust me; without good nurses, they would all be working for a living like the rest of us. Anyway, my doctor visits can be annually or every six months which is almost entirely predicated on what my insurance will pay for. My insurance must have been giving a bonus on EKGs last month because I wasn’t in there five minutes before the nurse was putting those sticky things all over me. There were three nurses in the little room, one putting on the sticky things, the boss nurse asking me a bunch of questions that I have to answer each time I go, and a nurse trainee. Apparently, my blood pressure was elevated. (probably because of waiting so long) or maybe because I didn’t have time to get my gloves before they came in. I am fine, BP was down before I left.

During the EKG test, the “boss nurse” riddled me with questions while instructing the nurse trainee on how to enter the information into the computer. The “boss nurse” was doing a lot more asking than listening. She really wanted me to be short of breath when I walked long distances, which I am not. We finally “made a deal” that I might be a little short of breath if I had walked 10 miles up a long steep hill. Then she turned to the trainee nurse and said: “so we enter right here on this line that he is often short of breath”. I said some things I am not proud of after that.

Now I have a new pill to take………But since I’m old it’s still funny.

Moses, Yes Moses

(age is just a number)

Moses was called to lead his people when he was eighty. He led them for forty years through every hardship imaginable. God himself was with Moses when he died at age 120. Deuteronomy 34:6.

I see two kinds of old people. The ones who hate being old, have given up, and are waiting to die. Then there are the ones who have made a conscious decision to enjoy life and live every day as if it’s their last earthly day. Many of the latter have something in common, “faith.” They understand that life (even at its longest) is short, only as a vapor in the wind. But we that believe in Christ know our life is eternal.