I Only Work On Tuesdays

Monday

Nobody expects much out of you on Monday, after all, it’s Monday. We are still recovering from the weekend. Whatever it is you do, you do it on the weekend. Fish, hunt, ride ATV’s, jump out of planes, ride motorcycles, or just cause general mayhem. By Monday morning we’re tired. We can’t be expected to perform our best on the job, not when it’s Monday.

If you come in all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on Monday morning, you are hated and despised by all your co-workers anyway. Nobody wants that…. There was that one guy in the movie “Office Space”. He says we have a “case of the Mondays” if we are not all happy and enthusiastic on Monday. I hate that guy; he wore too much “flair” anyway.

We will talk about Tuesday last, but everybody knows what Wednesday is, “hump day”. We are half-way through the week and only two more days till the weekend. While we may toy with getting a few things done simply because we have made it to hump day, it’s just for show. We walk around wishing co-workers “happy hump day!”. It lifts their spirits. We go home that evening feeling pretty darn good because we know what tomorrow is. 

Some argue that Thursday “has no feel”. I beg to differ. Thursday is loaded with feel, more so than old “hump day”. Now bear with me here, it’s short and sweet. Thursday is Friday Eve! That’s almost as good as Friday itself. What about Christmas Eve? or New Year’s Eve? All good right? Same with Thursday. It’s time for the working majority to give Thursday the recognition and respect it deserves, only then can everyone enjoy Thursday as we do Friday.

This brings us to our beloved Friday. Just the name, “Friday” conjures up visions of dancing in the streets, wonderful food, and unicorns. Our hearts and spirits are lifted and we all seem to “just get along”. We can tolerate even the most disgusting of our co-workers on this day we call “Friday” because we know that after today, they just disappear. There is one caveat because we all know that if anything can go wrong it will go wrong on Friday. Machines may break, computers lock up, or internet go out, but nobody cares, why? because “it’s Friday”. This is where TGIF came from. You can say: “TGIF, my computer is out, I may as well go home!” or “TGIF the copier is broken, I may as well leave”. You can’t get away with that on any other day of the week, only Friday…………… Finally, Friday is payday. Even if you owe most of it to bills, you’ve got to have that money and you get it on “Friday”. 

So, what about Tuesday? I’m sure there is something good about Tuesday. If there is, I don’t know about it. There is no excuse for not being at your best on Tuesday. If you don’t work hard and get a lot done on Tuesday, well you’re just a “slacker”. You can’t use the excuse that you have a case of the Mondays, it’s Hump Day, Friday Eve, or glorious Friday. Some might try to argue the same case for Tuesday which is used for Thursday being Friday Eve. Please don’t insult me, Hump day will never rise to the level of a Friday. I despise Tuesdays.  Short of faking sudden illness, you are stuck at work all day “working”. Maybe this is the only “saving grace” for Tuesday:  It’s the day we get ALL our work done. I guess if it wasn’t for Tuesday, at some point someone would notice that we were not doing much work….”You think?” 

“I Only Work On Tuesday” (a parody) By Dennis Stanley